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Expansive Expressions

Building Better Businesses, Neuroinclusively.

Three Creative Tips for Early Biz Blooming

by | Aug 27, 2022 | Biz Blooming Tips, Practical Tools

3 Biz Blooming Tips

Dear Expansioneers,

When you think of a business name, register that domain name and secure social media handles.

Even if you’re not ready for next steps, this ensures you have the digital space reserved for when you are ready!

This can also serve to be an early tangible step toward launching your business, program, or project.

Sometimes starting a business can feel overwhelming or too far away a goal to make real. I love to encourage my clients to take small steps today toward your dreams, these small steps can serve to affirm your vision and embolden your journey.

Also, it’s a good idea to do a quick trademark search on the federal website to be sure that:

  • You don’t accidentally use a name already registered to someone else and face legal repercussions, and
  • So you know you’re free and clear to use the name you want

I don’t recommend registering a trademark until you are absolutely sure that is the name you want to use and you’ve market-tested it out.

Things like social media handles are free to obtain and registering domain names is relatively inexpensive anywhere from $3 – $15 for a 1-year registration. (you will still need to sort out hosting, but you can do that later).

You may end up with a collection of domains you don’t ever use, so you can just get rid of them once you know you won’t use it. Rather have what you don’t need, than miss out on the perfect domain name for waiting!

 

I love helping big dream people make concrete moves toward their entrepreneurial dreams!

Jennifer Alumbaugh, MS

Want to Boost Your Biz Blooming Practices?

If you’re starting a new business…or dreaming of launching one and looking for support for the process, I’d love to chat with you to see if we’re a good fit. I share more about what my coaching looks like here, and here.

I love helping people get their ideas off the ground.  So many times we think, “If I could just get to X THEN I could start my business,” and I believe in the mindset of “What is 1 think I can do TODAY to begin making this dream real.”

If you’d like to talk with me about any of these or other opportunities click button to schedule a FREE 20min curiosity call.

Schedule Curiosity Call

Deconstruct False Narratives

by | Aug 4, 2022 | Boundaries, Entrepreneurs, Methodology, Mindset, Practical Tools

The First Step to Solving a Problem, Is Naming the Problem

Dear Expansioneer,

Please receive this when I tell you:

YOU are NOT the problem.

You’re not.

I promise.

Cross my heart.

See, there are systems in place in our society that are designed specifically to make us fail, to make us feel small, to make us feel lazy, to make us feel less-than. This work is not about fixing “what’s broken inside you.” It’s about naming the systems that have caused harm and have indoctrinated their false narratives upon us.

This is step one.

And it can also be step 8.  And step 17.

Like the spiral in the center, we come back around to each practice multiple times in our journey, not to the exact same place, because we’re different. Many times we have new wisdom to mine once we’ve done the work needed to recognize that wisdom when we see it!

Once we’ve identified these bullying beliefs, we can get rid of them. They don’t actually belong to us so we don’t need to keep them around anymore. Some people call this a mindset shift.

Jennifer Alumbaugh, MS

Four Acts of Deconstructing False Narrative

  • Identify Bullying Beliefs
  • Reject and Release Imposed Identities
  • Dismantle Systemic Binaries
  • Find and Ground in your Truth

These are not mutually exclusive and in fact often interact and intersect with each other.

Let’s look at some examples of Bullying Beliefs:

  • “I’m not good enough”
  • “Ugh, I’m the worst, I didn’t get anything done today”
  • “I’m not smart enough”
  • “I feel like an imposter”
  • “I’m so lazy, I called in to work sick with Covid and all I did was lay around in bed all day”
  • “I’m a bad parent; I just got the kids fast food for dinner because I’m so exhausted”
  • “I’m such a mess, I can’t even keep up with the mail”

Any of these sound familiar? Have you ever had any of these thoughts?

 

 

I know I have!

These kinds of thoughts and beliefs about ourselves are not an accurate representation of who we are. They are part of the false narratives we are fed to believe by way of media, marketing, toxic religious messaging, toxic positivity, social media influencers, etc. And behind all of them is capitalism, and patriarchy, and racism, and white supremacy. Yeah. Those lying liars!

When I’m working with clients, part of my role is to hold up a mirror, a true mirror, so they can see their actual reflection…not those wobbly distortions of carnival fun house mirrors that the world shows us.

Once we’ve identified these bullying beliefs, we can get rid of them. They don’t actually belong to us so we don’t need to keep them around anymore. Some people call this a mindset shift.

 

One of my favorite exercises to do with clients is the Reject and Release Imposed Identities. There are so many ways that identities get put upon us without our consent–from gender to career to assumptions about our motives and decisions other people make about us as a result of their own imposed identities.

When a client stands up (literally and/or figuratively) and out loud rejects these parts that never belonged to them in the first place, I get chills. I get to witness and be in awe and that is one of the many reasons why I do what I do! It’s so empowering for clients to do this exercise, it invigorates the other parts of the work we do together.

Sometimes along with that or on it’s own, we Dismantle Systemic Binaries.

Now I know many people are used to hearing binaries associated only with gender, but binaries limit us across so many areas of life!

Good or bad.

Lazy or productive.

Happy or sad.

Calm or upset.

Woman or man.

Young or old.

In or out.

Cold or warm.

Either/ors are so very limiting. Too limiting for the magnificent complexity of the human experience! We are expansive beings who can be and feel and think and become so many glorious things all at once!

 

Our final step in Deconstructing False Narratives is to Find and Ground in Our Truth.

What does this mean, exactly?

Well kind of like in a remodel of a building, once all the old, rotted out, unreliable sections are gutted, the builder finds the beams that are true, that will hold weight, that will carry the rest of the building.

Similarly, once we have gotten rid of all the untrustworthy beliefs we’ve been schlepping around with us, we can finally see clearly what truth remains and is solid foundation for us to ground in.

So, “I’m so lazy,” becomes, “I honor my body’s need for rest.”

“I guess I’m a bitch because I said No,” becomes, “I advocate for myself with the boundaries I need to stay present”

“I’m a bad parent,” becomes, “When I get the kids take-out, I have more energy to play with them and do bedtime routine.”

This is what finding and grounding in our truth can look like. And when we continue our work from a place of being grounded in our truth, we have so much more agency, energy, and self-compassion moving forward.

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Mess is Morally Neutral

by | Jul 12, 2022 | ADHD, Autism, Grief and Loss, Practical Tools, Resources

Musings on releasing clutter shame as an act of radical self acceptance

I first encountered this phrase from KC Davis, LPC who is the brilliantly relatable human behind Struggle Care and @DomesticBlisters on TikTok. 

It is a phrase that I sit with and work to accept as true, and especially, true for me.

I grew up in the impeccably neat and organized homes of my parents and grandmother.  It was a part of my upbringing to do chores, from as early as I can remember.  As a young child I embraced the “out of sight out of mind” philosophy of cleaning and shoved everything under my bed or in the back of my closet when it came time for room inspections.  Every time I was found out and then had to began the task of actually putting things away—folded, neat, orderly.

When I was a kid there was a great deal of cultural attitude around cleanliness…it is next to Godliness after all!  Cleanliness and mess were absolutely made out to be moral reflections of a person’s character and I, as an ambassador of the family had a responsibility to uphold certain standards of presenting myself and my spaces.

I got it, to a degree.  There are definitely perks of having a tidy space that is ready to work or create in whenever you like without having to first clean it up.  I enjoyed that feature.

Later in life during a transitional period when I first moved to Texas, I worked as a professional organizer going into people’s homes and guiding them through organizing pantries and closets and personal business documents.  I loved it!  It absolutely sated my enjoyment of creating order and putting my Autistic organizer brain to use.  And it was other people’s stuff so I enjoyed no attachments or history with those things.

This was also during a season before a major loss in my life occurred and I was lost in the pit of cPTSD, depression, and grief.

My home space began to disintegrate as I got deeper into grief and processing trauma with my therapist.

Jennifer Alumbaugh, MS

I was suddenly acutely aware of my bandwidth and how I rarely had any surplus after a day of therapy and work, to then come home and make a meal or wash a dish or sweep the floor.  I didn’t understand how I was loosing so much functioning when earlier in life I knew how to keep a home space clean and tidy and guest-ready.

Then I began to learn about the links between clutter, mess, and trauma.  I began the work of deconstructing the nasty, mean, and shaming mentality I had toward myself.  Healing doesn’t happen all at once, especially in this area.

I have a lot of conversations with clients about some of the heartache of healing is also being left with things we have to fix from when we were not capable of dealing with them in a grief or depression or cPTSD place.

I wish there was some “get out of mess free” card that people got after healing through their trauma that magically cleaned and organized spaces for them….but alas, none exist.

Instead, I am grateful for resources like what KC Davis creates.  On her website are a slew of helpful downloadables including things like: Closing Duties Checklist, How to Build a Cleaning Kit, Neurodivergence To-Do list, Cleaning Your Depression House, and more!  Additionally, she has a 6-month online course to provide support, motivation, and boosters for folks wanting to tackle their doom piles…all for $15!  I love that her work is financially accessible, is inclusive of neurodivergent brains, and is broken into tiny, manageable sound-bites.

KC also just released a book, How to Keep House while Drowning, which I totally just got on Audible (it’s read by KC herself!  I love books read by their own authors)!  It’s a quick 3 hour read or listen and as I was reading reviews, I saw that many folks played the audio book while they organized a space and found it deeply motivating and affirming.  So, I will be trying that out this weekend!

For a number of reasons, mess is so often shrouded in shame that we don’t talk about it and the not talking about it grows until it feels like this “big dirty secret” that we are hiding from the world.  I’m right there with you! 

Today, I am embracing the idea that “mess is morally neutral” and I am going to see what changes when I treat myself with kindness and compassion around my messes, and what happens when I can celebrate and feel good about small wins.

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What’s your relationship with mess? 

What if you could see a pile of dishes, or stack of unfolded laundry and *not* experience shame and judgment of yourself? 

What if you were able to connect with the motivation to tidy driven by a belief that you are worthy of a tidy space, rather than driven by harsh criticism and blame? 

What if you could find value and gratification in the small victories? 

 

I’d love to walk with you on this path, not because I have it all figured out, but because I get it, I’m right there too learning and growing into self acceptance in this area. 

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